well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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