And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
