I think I just saw someone hide a body.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
