I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
