I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
