after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
