I think im going to throw up on grandma
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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