Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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