i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
