bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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