She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Pants are for mortals
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
