Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
