She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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