I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
