I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler