My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
