Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
where are you?
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it