I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
two words...techno handjob
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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