you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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