69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
