sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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