honey bunches of taint.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
