You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
