Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
