Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
