I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Randomize
