So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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