you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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