Nicole vs. Life
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
