I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
