Having a random hookup so left but love u
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
