Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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