i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
