since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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