He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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