I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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