I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
