Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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