Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
