At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
