Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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