Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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