I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
