I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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