He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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