Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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