i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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