I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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