Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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