so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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