well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
