Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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