Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
