I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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