He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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