I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
