I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
