Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
