i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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