I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
