I can text with my tongue
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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