i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
