i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
