Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
