you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
