I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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